March Lambs and Lions

I know the month has nearly gone, but there's lots of news to share, so I'll start with a Canadian's favourite topic: the weather! It definitely took a turn for the better this month, with weeks of warm, sunny temperatures and balmy breezes. We've spent many mornings soaking it up on the balcony, because we are well aware that May and June will be mostly gray. Since moving to San Diego, we actually looked into the “June Gloom” phenomenon and discovered that it is caused by rapidly warming coast – which has a good chunk of desert – pulling the marine layer inland from the ocean, which warms much more slowly. Voila! Clouds!

But that's really the silver lining. The cloud part is the dentist; March saw the renewal of my insurance coverage, so I got a call to remind me that I still had significant work to be done, and when did I want to schedule an appointment? Since I couldn't answer with “never”, I decided to beard the lion in his den and took the first available day off from work. We decided the bigger job needed to come first; two fillings side by side with a crown between – the result of very old silver fillings that had cracked and loosened. Unfortunately, by the time Dr Thompson got it cleaned out, she realized there was too little tooth wall remaining for a new filling – it would only crack the tooth. So now the plan was TWO crowns and a single filling. It took three hours.

Unfortunately, I have severe anxiety when it comes to dentistry and this time, it got the better of me. There were so many things in my mouth, and so much numbness that I started to feel as if I couldn't breath. When a chip of tooth landed at the back of my throat, my gag reflex kicked in and the anxiety spiraled into a full blown panic attack. I haven't had one since I was twelve and I could have happily lived the rest of my life without another. Dr Thompson offered to stop so I could go home, but I chose to finish and after I calmed down, we were able to go ahead. Since then, I've gone back for the permanent crowns, but I still have two more old fillings to replace on opposite sides of my mouth. I have yet to work up the courage to return, but I know I will have to eventually.

In happier news, my job is going very well. I'm normally a chatty, outgoing person, so working at a coffee shop seems to be a natural match. My friend Quentin dropped in one day and said that I fit right in, which I suppose is a good thing. My boss is a positive, hard-working person and likes to help out on the bar as often as she can. All the employees seem to really like her too.

As for my co-workers (“partners”), 90 percent of them are college students with tons of energy. That, or they are chronically under-rested. I swear, some of them don't sleep more than four or five hours a night, and then, not every night. I think this may be an epidemic among young people here, and possibly everywhere.

Meanwhile, at home, Phillip and I are still adjusting to my new working schedule, which is a bit tricky since I work shifts and get random days off during the week. This still allows time for auditions, but so far, this is theoretical, since I've had little luck in that area. We're making slow changes around the house, like painting and curtains, and after lots of consideration, we are planning to enroll in a martial arts program. This is mainly a new way to keep active, since running after being on my feet for eight hours has lost its charm, but recently self-defense has become a strong interest as well.

This was underscored yesterday after an encounter with a particularly foul individual during my afternoon walk with Maverick. Just half a block from our home, three people were standing by their car, chatting, while their two small dogs ran around without leashes. Upon seeing Maverick, they made a beeline for him and proceeded to tussle around in typical doggy fashion. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but one of the dogs was somewhat aggressive, so I paused, waiting for the owners to call them off. There was much in the way of “stop that, come here”, but it was completely ignored by the pets, so I decided to walk by as quickly as possible. I said nothing, hoping that as I passed the owners, they would pick up their dogs and allow me to continue unmolested.

Apparently this did not occur to them and as I got further away, the dogs simply followed, continuing to harass Maverick. I stopped again, looking towards the owners and waiting for one of them to do more than call after their ill-trained dogs. When one of the dogs got aggressive again, I pushed him away with the side of my foot, off Maverick.

Immediately, one of the owners, the man, screamed at me, cursing and accusing me of kicking his dog and threatening to “punch in my face”. I was rather shocked, but calmly approached him, pointing out that I had NOT kicked his dog. He reiterated that I had kicked the mutt, and when I again pointed out that his dog had not been hurt, he got very close to my face and threatened me again. At no point did he pick up his dog or otherwise check to see if I had indeed hurt the animal, which convinces me that he was well aware that his loose pets were an annoyance and provided the perfect opportunity to pick a fight with anyone who protested.

Rather than curse back or raise my voice, I told the man that he dogs should be on a leash, to which he responded with many repetitions of the “f” word (I imagine vocabulary is a stretch for him). So, I asked if he would rather I just call the police. More cursing, so I simply turned and walked away. A neighbour witnessed the whole thing and asked if I was alright – she actually looked like she relished the idea of getting into a fight with the guy, but I told her not to get involved and insisted I considered the whole thing over. When I got home, I reported the incident to the local police, was told that no officer would come unless I felt that man was truly going to follow me and attack me, but that the phone line was recorded, so it might count as a record of the whole thing. I was somewhat disappointed, since I'd rather hoped that a police cruiser could simply pass by, or be in the area. The man remained on the sidewalk with his friends, where I'd left him and I'm guessing the next person who passed by with a grievance about his annoying pets got a similar dose of his pathetic personality.

The whole situation really bothered me; not only the threat of physical violence, but the attitude of WANTING to fight with someone. Not only the jerk with the dogs, but the woman who'd witnessed the event. Why are people so ready to be so hostile? When you hurt someone, no matter the situation, you can't take it back. People can be so small-minded and short-sighted, it's disheartening. So, in addition to improving my health and fitness with Kung Fu, I'm hoping to gain some confidence in my ability to defend myself. If the jerk had gone so far as to carry out his threat, he really could have put me in the hospital with broken facial bones or worse. Despite my calm response, I was frightened and stressed, and later discouraged by the police response. Apparently, one can indeed threaten a person with violence without consequences. Maybe that's why he was so eager to do it and others so eager to participate.

News from Canada has been bad and good. I recently lost my uncle John (my father's younger brother) to pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed and died within three weeks. It was so shocking and sad and my heart goes out to his sons and girlfriend. My grandmother, who has been so strong throughout, was holding his hand when he died. Bon nuit, mon oncle. Je t'aime.

But, it seems to me that whenever one soul leaves, another takes its place. A happy announcement from my youngest sister followed shortly afterwards, letting us know that she is expecting again and hoping for a new addition to the family in November or December. I'm hoping to be present for the birth this time, so family and friends in Canada may see us sooner than we anticipated.

Lions and lambs, good and bad, life takes all manner of twists and turns. Despite the ups and downs, I am nonetheless grateful for my ability to experience it all, possibly learn from it and gain perspective and grow. Learn something new today, tell someone you love them and be well.

K & P