Welcome to the U.S.A. or,
“There's a Dead Guy in the Restroom”

Big news! After almost five years, Phillip and I received a letter from the Department of Homeland Security, Citizenship and Immigration Services. We have been approved for Green Cards. Our first reaction was “Wow... really? Wow.... so... what does that mean?” For me, it means the joy of traveling without the worry of forgetting some important visa document or delays because a portion of a form that was retained by a border official that was SUPPOSED to remain with my passport. Oh, and not having to remember obscure codes like 'H1B, H4, EAD.... bonus! I'm already planning a visit to Ottawa... just not sure when!

Christmas is fast approaching! We're both as excited as children, since we've decided to spoil each other a bit with gifts. My boss is even in on it; Phillip came into the coffee shop for a drink while I was working today and she took him aside to find out what my 'big' present was. The injustice of it all! She'll be gloating until Christmas.

We have plans to have friends over for dinner on the 25th, and the joy is that one of the guests will be providing the roast beast, so we're just responsible for hosting and the side dishes, which suits me fine. Christopher and Nancy will well remember the twenty-two pound monstrosity I prepared for our little four-person supper. Tasty.. but after five days, enough is enough.

I'd also like to decorate this year, since we'll actually be around to appreciate it. A live tree and a few lights here and there might be nice. I bought a pretty wreath for the door and it feels quite festive. Now I just have to dig out our stockings and the ornaments we've received over the last several years and finally put them to good use.

Okay, so you're probably wondering about the “Dead Guy in the Restroom” thing. True story. My store is known for being a bit rough around the edges at times. While the majority of our customers are everyday middle-class folk on their way to work, we DO have a fringe community of homeless, pimps, prostitutes and downright crazy people. We know a lot of them by name and most of them are fine, however, the result of our 'open door' policy means that occasionally, we're cleaning up nasty messes in the washroom or swearing about stolen tips.

The pièce de résistance came two nights ago, with two experienced partners finishing the last shift of the night. The place was unusually busy and at some point, it was noted that the men's restroom had been occupied for well over half an hour. Since it takes a lot of running around for two people to serve a full store of customers, it was not investigated until nearly closing – when everything must be cleaned to Starbucks exacting standards.

The door was still locked and there was no response to knocks or requests of concern. Finally, one of the partners used a tool to pop the lock, and when the door was opened, they both froze in shock. The sight that greeted them was described as “a dead guy, face down in a Jackson Pollock of his own shit, piss and vomit”. There was a moment's stunned hesitation before he was checked for signs of life (no breath) and 911 was called. The ambulance arrived very speedily with several EMT's. They left behind a plastic bag full of his soiled clothing and messy footprints out the door. The partners stayed late to clean up and fill out an “Incident Report”. The icing on the cake; at almost the same time the first ambulance was summoned, a second call to 911 was rung for one our regulars, homeless Victor, having what looked like a heart-attack on the patio! The second ambulance was close on the tail of the first.

I haven't heard any news about the Dead Guy and can only hope he was helped. We'll likely never know, since no one knew him (he wasn't a regular) and the paramedics and medical staff won't release information to anyone non-related. Victor, happily, was fine and returned today for his usual small coffee. I think I'll give him a warm scarf for christmas.

After that drama, my recent performance in “Walls” seems so minor. Nonetheless, it was a great success. Only two performances, sadly, but both nights were full, with positive reviews and feedback. I've joined the Lotus Theatre Collective, who produced the show, and plan to help develop a new mask workshop in the spring. Right now, everyone is recovering from the frenzy of the first show and hunkering down for the Christmas frenzy. We've plans to meet and brainstorm in January. More updates then...

Phillip and I have both been very busy; Phil with a good deal of overtime and I with work and theatre and illness. Nothing too serious; a bladder infection, easily treated with antibiotics, and then a nasty cold, thanks to one of the other actors who liked to share. I'll be working the day after Christmas, opening the store (ugh, 4am is going to feel way too early), but we both have a bit of time off before the big day. We plan to rest, relax and enjoy the season. By the way, it's been positively nippy here the last few days, which delights me, since it feels so appropriate and justifies turning on our little gas fireplace for cozy snuggles with the pooch in the evenings.

I hope you are all having an equally happy season. We wish all our loved ones a safe, healthy and joyful season and hope to hear from you soon. Take care,

K & P

Hiatus Endus

There is an old Chinese saying – a curse some say, that goes: “May you live in interesting times.” I have always liked that expression. It speaks volumes, I think, and certainly resonates now.

As most of the world knows, the U.S. has a new president-elect. I confess to being much more interested in the leadership race here than back home, perhaps because – we have to admit – the American president's actions have much broader consequences in the world than our prime minister's.

But I'm not going to talk politics; I don't consider myself to be a politically savvy individual (just occasionally opinionated). I'm just more thoughtful about how we're here in this time and place during such 'interesting times' and only history will tell whether it was a curse or not.

At least one of our neighbours lost her home to the bank. Friends and former co-workers are looking for jobs with flagging optimism, the newspapers quote pundits that predict things as “getting worse before they get better” and even companies such as General Motors are taking drastic measures (pensioners recently had their once-sacred medical coverage slashed) to stave off ruination. The Federal Government is besieged by pleas for bail-outs and rescue plans at every level.

Yet on a personal level, I am very grateful for the soundness of Phillip's employment – Qualcomm has operated and continues to operate without debt and is therefore more secure than most large companies that employ thousands. They are not unaffected of course, and have slowed down hiring, among other measures, but selfishly, I am relieved that we are relatively secure where we are. We have discussed our lifestyle and habits, and perhaps it is because we have always made a point of living within our means that we have never suffered major setbacks. Even when my store closes and I'll join the ranks of the unemployed – hopefully for the short term - we will be alright.

I know there is more to individual situations that we truly see, but the most common criticism I have heard for those who have lost equity is that they were foolish to commit to debts they could not really afford. I am reminded of our first two months here; house-prices were astronomical and rising, banks were offering us over half-a-million in mortgage loans and we were left breathless and boggling at insane frenzy of consumerism. Luckily, we're both cautious people and have learned from at least one 'buy in haste' mistake. We stepped back, took a deep breath, then took our time finding a place that suited our needs. And since neither of us is terribly materialistic, our needs are fairly simple. Only in the last year, with dual income and generous bonuses, did we loosen our purse-strings enough to finally buy a wee car; it's been four years here, after all.

I guess the reason I'm saying all this is because it feels necessary to point out that even amidst the hand-wringing predictions of gloom, and the honest hard times of struggling households, things are still okay. Perspective is everything - that is another favourite expression of mine that I try to apply as often as possible in my life. I believe Obama's brains are his best asset and though no single person can fix this country's problems, he seems to be able to inspire those around him to do their best. One of the things he said in his victory speech was wanting to “bring back the notion of responsibility”. If he shows signs of doing doing that, here in these times, I will remain optimistic.

Peace,

K & P

March Lambs and Lions

I know the month has nearly gone, but there's lots of news to share, so I'll start with a Canadian's favourite topic: the weather! It definitely took a turn for the better this month, with weeks of warm, sunny temperatures and balmy breezes. We've spent many mornings soaking it up on the balcony, because we are well aware that May and June will be mostly gray. Since moving to San Diego, we actually looked into the “June Gloom” phenomenon and discovered that it is caused by rapidly warming coast – which has a good chunk of desert – pulling the marine layer inland from the ocean, which warms much more slowly. Voila! Clouds!

But that's really the silver lining. The cloud part is the dentist; March saw the renewal of my insurance coverage, so I got a call to remind me that I still had significant work to be done, and when did I want to schedule an appointment? Since I couldn't answer with “never”, I decided to beard the lion in his den and took the first available day off from work. We decided the bigger job needed to come first; two fillings side by side with a crown between – the result of very old silver fillings that had cracked and loosened. Unfortunately, by the time Dr Thompson got it cleaned out, she realized there was too little tooth wall remaining for a new filling – it would only crack the tooth. So now the plan was TWO crowns and a single filling. It took three hours.

Unfortunately, I have severe anxiety when it comes to dentistry and this time, it got the better of me. There were so many things in my mouth, and so much numbness that I started to feel as if I couldn't breath. When a chip of tooth landed at the back of my throat, my gag reflex kicked in and the anxiety spiraled into a full blown panic attack. I haven't had one since I was twelve and I could have happily lived the rest of my life without another. Dr Thompson offered to stop so I could go home, but I chose to finish and after I calmed down, we were able to go ahead. Since then, I've gone back for the permanent crowns, but I still have two more old fillings to replace on opposite sides of my mouth. I have yet to work up the courage to return, but I know I will have to eventually.

In happier news, my job is going very well. I'm normally a chatty, outgoing person, so working at a coffee shop seems to be a natural match. My friend Quentin dropped in one day and said that I fit right in, which I suppose is a good thing. My boss is a positive, hard-working person and likes to help out on the bar as often as she can. All the employees seem to really like her too.

As for my co-workers (“partners”), 90 percent of them are college students with tons of energy. That, or they are chronically under-rested. I swear, some of them don't sleep more than four or five hours a night, and then, not every night. I think this may be an epidemic among young people here, and possibly everywhere.

Meanwhile, at home, Phillip and I are still adjusting to my new working schedule, which is a bit tricky since I work shifts and get random days off during the week. This still allows time for auditions, but so far, this is theoretical, since I've had little luck in that area. We're making slow changes around the house, like painting and curtains, and after lots of consideration, we are planning to enroll in a martial arts program. This is mainly a new way to keep active, since running after being on my feet for eight hours has lost its charm, but recently self-defense has become a strong interest as well.

This was underscored yesterday after an encounter with a particularly foul individual during my afternoon walk with Maverick. Just half a block from our home, three people were standing by their car, chatting, while their two small dogs ran around without leashes. Upon seeing Maverick, they made a beeline for him and proceeded to tussle around in typical doggy fashion. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but one of the dogs was somewhat aggressive, so I paused, waiting for the owners to call them off. There was much in the way of “stop that, come here”, but it was completely ignored by the pets, so I decided to walk by as quickly as possible. I said nothing, hoping that as I passed the owners, they would pick up their dogs and allow me to continue unmolested.

Apparently this did not occur to them and as I got further away, the dogs simply followed, continuing to harass Maverick. I stopped again, looking towards the owners and waiting for one of them to do more than call after their ill-trained dogs. When one of the dogs got aggressive again, I pushed him away with the side of my foot, off Maverick.

Immediately, one of the owners, the man, screamed at me, cursing and accusing me of kicking his dog and threatening to “punch in my face”. I was rather shocked, but calmly approached him, pointing out that I had NOT kicked his dog. He reiterated that I had kicked the mutt, and when I again pointed out that his dog had not been hurt, he got very close to my face and threatened me again. At no point did he pick up his dog or otherwise check to see if I had indeed hurt the animal, which convinces me that he was well aware that his loose pets were an annoyance and provided the perfect opportunity to pick a fight with anyone who protested.

Rather than curse back or raise my voice, I told the man that he dogs should be on a leash, to which he responded with many repetitions of the “f” word (I imagine vocabulary is a stretch for him). So, I asked if he would rather I just call the police. More cursing, so I simply turned and walked away. A neighbour witnessed the whole thing and asked if I was alright – she actually looked like she relished the idea of getting into a fight with the guy, but I told her not to get involved and insisted I considered the whole thing over. When I got home, I reported the incident to the local police, was told that no officer would come unless I felt that man was truly going to follow me and attack me, but that the phone line was recorded, so it might count as a record of the whole thing. I was somewhat disappointed, since I'd rather hoped that a police cruiser could simply pass by, or be in the area. The man remained on the sidewalk with his friends, where I'd left him and I'm guessing the next person who passed by with a grievance about his annoying pets got a similar dose of his pathetic personality.

The whole situation really bothered me; not only the threat of physical violence, but the attitude of WANTING to fight with someone. Not only the jerk with the dogs, but the woman who'd witnessed the event. Why are people so ready to be so hostile? When you hurt someone, no matter the situation, you can't take it back. People can be so small-minded and short-sighted, it's disheartening. So, in addition to improving my health and fitness with Kung Fu, I'm hoping to gain some confidence in my ability to defend myself. If the jerk had gone so far as to carry out his threat, he really could have put me in the hospital with broken facial bones or worse. Despite my calm response, I was frightened and stressed, and later discouraged by the police response. Apparently, one can indeed threaten a person with violence without consequences. Maybe that's why he was so eager to do it and others so eager to participate.

News from Canada has been bad and good. I recently lost my uncle John (my father's younger brother) to pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed and died within three weeks. It was so shocking and sad and my heart goes out to his sons and girlfriend. My grandmother, who has been so strong throughout, was holding his hand when he died. Bon nuit, mon oncle. Je t'aime.

But, it seems to me that whenever one soul leaves, another takes its place. A happy announcement from my youngest sister followed shortly afterwards, letting us know that she is expecting again and hoping for a new addition to the family in November or December. I'm hoping to be present for the birth this time, so family and friends in Canada may see us sooner than we anticipated.

Lions and lambs, good and bad, life takes all manner of twists and turns. Despite the ups and downs, I am nonetheless grateful for my ability to experience it all, possibly learn from it and gain perspective and grow. Learn something new today, tell someone you love them and be well.

K & P

February Rising...

Hello folks! Since last I wrote, Phillip and I have come and gone and much has zipped by. I recall stating that I was looking forward to a bit of snow and cold weather for the purpose of winter fashion, but having experienced it most recently, I was surprised to realize that I have been California-fied. Yep. My blood has thinned and when Father Winter touched his cold finger to my cheek, I shuddered.

Perhaps that's why we Canadians celebrate Christmas and New Year's Eve and Winterlude at all; we're desperate for a little joviality under the long blanket of snow and cold. We were no exception this year and looked forward to seeing everyone with happy anticipation. Visiting to and fro was a breeze – we managed to avoid driving any time there was a heavy snowfall and zipped from place to place during the lulls. Chaffey's was a delightful winter wonderland and Phillip and I walked to the lock with all the enthusiasm of new tourists.

The Eastern Townships were also an easy drive this year, with clear roads all the way there and a long, relaxing visit to rest up. Phillip and I became god-parents to Brianna Kathleen Gaulin on the 22nd of December, which Brianna took in stride with a grin and a quick spit-up during the prayer. That's my niece!

Little did we know what was waiting for us back at the party; someone, I won't name names, was carrying an evil little stomach-flu virus, and twenty four hours later, by the time Phillip and I had returned to Ottawa, we were struck down. At first, we wrongly thought the culprit was salmonella in the form of leftover chicken chili – being predominately vegetarian means meat is always the first suspect. However, on the fourth day of violent nausea, stomach cramps and general misery, I got a call from my sister, telling me how almost everyone at the baptism celebration party had come with the stomach flu. Ah ha! The leftovers (not to mention Joan) were vindicated and Phillip and I settled in for an even longer haul. As a result, Christmas was much subdued for us this year, even though presents were lovely and seeing everyone was still a treat. We even managed to drag ourselves out and about for proper catching-up with friends, which made it all more endurable. Let it be stated here; a sincere thank you is in order to Christopher and Nancy, who were gracious hosts, despite the fact that we were about as entertaining and lively as a couple of zombies. Kind of a downer at the dinner table, you know?

We returned to San Diego feeling wobbly-legged and worn out. Phillip even lost weight! We spent the rest of the week recuperating in the familiar surroundings of home and got well before the arrival of Joan and Paul. Unfortunately, Phillip's weakened state probably made him susceptible to the nasty cold he brought home and this month has been one of loud sneezes, much coughing and nose-blowing and general muttering. After the stomach flu, it's a cake walk, of course, but we'll be glad to have some really hot weather back. It's been surprisingly wet and cool here.

Our guests have nonetheless enjoyed themselves, as you can read for yourself on Paul's new blog, and we have really enjoyed having them here. They'll be off to Texas and Florida next week as I prepare for another big change in my life: I got a job!

Yes indeedy. It's all very exciting, even if it's just working in a coffee shop (Starbucks). It's literally five minutes walk from my house, which is fabulous, and the pay is nice for doing what is essentially a fun job, in my opinion. When I last worked in a coffee shop, I really enjoyed it – I met so many interesting people and even made a few long-term friends. The perks are really nice: a week of training, including a chance to sample new coffees and treats from all over, a free bag of coffee to take home every week and a great discount year round (even greater during the holidays). Many of you can expect coffee-themed Christmas presents next year! This job will be ideal simply because the hours will allow me to continue auditioning and rehearsing for theatre. I'm really looking forward to it!

In other news, we've re-finished our floors, which is wonderful, since it's been a “project” since we started over two years ago. Now both upstairs and downstairs are clean, smooth wood laminate, with no trace of the thin, gray, dingy carpet remaining. Pets make carpet a nightmare.

Speaking of pets, ours are doing really well. Maverick has been spoiled with attention since Joan and Paul arrived. He loves his new extended “pack” and cries if they go out for a few hours. He'll miss them a lot when they leave. Scuttle likes having a few extra servants around the house to do her bidding, and she's even trained them to respond to specific commands, such as “let me out” or “feed me” or “why is this door closed, I need to take a nap in here”. Par for the course, really.

February, as I've said before is the armpit of the year, but I have no doubt that, with my gainful employment and more plans to spruce up the house, time will fly by. I hope we have more visitors – I know of at least one person who should have a school break... Don't be strangers.

K & P